Lent 5- Lust
We are continuing our series on the Seven Deadly Sins. This week, the deadly sin we are looking at is lust. This is another desire that many in our society want to amplify and capitalize on. Sexual imagery is blatant in TV shows, movies, music, magazines, and in advertising. It is used to grab hold of our attention, and it has been very normalized. We are immersed in an overly-sexualized culture that is often using sexual imagery to manipulate us into buying things and watching their content.
The effect of this is that we can be left with these images floating in our minds, and with an exaggerated sense of the importance of sex. We can be left thinking that our happiness depends on being sexually attractive as well as sexually active.
Thinking about the way our society treats sex, C.S. Lewis in his book Mere Christianity asks us to imagine a culture where people gather around a covered dish. The cover is slowly lifted while people hoot and holler. The cover is finally lifted to reveal … a porkchop. He suggests a possible explanation for this behaviour- that these people are starving. So, then we look into their society to see if they have a lack of food available to them. If we find that, in fact, they are not starving and are actually eating quite well, we would suspect that something has gone wrong in their desire for food.
Now we imagine that instead of a porkchop, say we have under the covered dish, a naked woman. And the revealing bring similar hooting. It is an image of strip clubs and the pornography industry. Is this evidence that we are sexually starved, or that something has gone wrong in our sexual desire?
To strengthen his argument, Lewis points out that if a young man were to obey all his sexual urges (in a pre-contraception environment) he might well populate a small town quite quickly. Isn't this evidence that our sexual desires have gone wrong in some way?
The result of this twisting of this desire is that we can end up treating other human beings as objects to fulfill our own personal sexual gratification. Our everyday interactions can become coloured by sexual tensions and suspicions. An innocent hug can become marked with sexual thoughts. We can forget that the people in front of us are to be respected and valued as bearers of the image of God, and are not to be used and abused to appease our own selfish desires.
Lust is an excessive desire for the pleasures of the flesh. It is a disordered passion—a misuse of the natural human drive for intimacy and connection. More specifically, it is usually focused on the disordered desire for sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure itself is good and a gift from God, but sex out of its proper context can become damaging to us and to others. Lust is inherently selfish. And it is ultimately a delusion. Lust asks of sex something it can’t deliver. It promises intimacy with another person. It draws on our desire to be fully known and loved, and to fully know another. Like other sins it acts like an addiction. It leads to a habit as we continue to reach for what it will never be able to give us.
Lust also has an effect beyond the lust-sick person. Lust may lead to adultery, which affects spouses, children, parents, extended family, and friends. Lust might also lead to a child being conceived in an unstable relationship. … Lust can lead to more violent consequences, like sexually assault. … Sin will often lead to more sin. … In King David’s case, lust for Bathsheba led to the murder of Uriah to cover up the adultery.
Sex is meant to strengthen a marriage, and offer the potential of the relationship to produce children. … But lust objectifies the other person- it uses them for self-centered pleasure. The psychologist Solomon Schimmel compares love to lust saying,
“Love is firm in the face of obstacles. This is because it is joining of personalities, not bodies. Aging, loss of exterior beauty, illness, or misfortune do not diminish love when the emotional bonds upon which it is based remain intact. Lust is transient, fickle, and egocentric. Love is permanent, steady, and altruistic. Lust uses another’s body to satisfy its appetite for pleasure. Love gives of oneself, soul and all, to make another happy.” (Schimmel p 122).
We seek to cure the disease of lust by seeking to attain the virtue of chastity. We do this by understanding the role of sexuality in God’s bigger design for life. … Chastity is sometimes falsely equated in peoples' minds with celibacy- which is abstaining from sex entirely. That's not what chastity means. It is that for some people, but not all. One theologian defines it this way,
“Chastity is the virtue by which a person integrates his or her sexuality into his or her own Christian life” (Lower, Boyle, May in Catholic Sexual Ethics).
That means it is a discipline for both single and married people. It's how we integrate our sexuality into who God has called us to be and what He has called us to do. How we express our sexuality will be different because we have different callings. For single people, chastity means abstaining from sex- celibacy. For married people it means a sexuality that is expressed exclusively with their husband or wife, while still being careful to avoid lust. In marriage, sexual desire is meant to serve the love of the couple. There is still a call for a level of self-discipline and restraint within marriage.
The virtue of chastity is formed in us as we follow the teachings of Jesus who taught us to watch our hearts, which is where the root of lust begins. Sexual sin begins with a thought, and if it is not checked then it may lead to more thoughts, and then habitual thoughts, and then actions, and then habitual actions, and before we know it our life and character are coloured by it. … Jesus rightly advises us to deal with lust when it is just a small thought in our minds. It is easier to deal with a spark than a forest fire. …
John Cassian (360-435) references two psalms. There are pretty rough lines. Psalm 101:8 which says,
The virtue of chastity is formed in us as we follow the teachings of Jesus who taught us to watch our hearts, which is where the root of lust begins. Sexual sin begins with a thought, and if it is not checked then it may lead to more thoughts, and then habitual thoughts, and then actions, and then habitual actions, and before we know it our life and character are coloured by it. … Jesus rightly advises us to deal with lust when it is just a small thought in our minds. It is easier to deal with a spark than a forest fire. …
John Cassian (360-435) references two psalms. There are pretty rough lines. Psalm 101:8 which says,
“Morning by morning I will destroy all the wicked in the land, cutting off all evildoers from the city of the Lord.”
And Psalm 137:9 that says,
“Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock!”.
He uses these verses to talk about the necessity of guarding the heart from lustful thoughts- we are to destroy the wicked (lustful thoughts) from the land (of our hearts). We are to deal with these thoughts when they are still small, dashing them to the rock before they can become fully grown (The Institutes). (It’s interesting to see how the early church interpreted these difficult verses.)
We should remember too, that Jesus does not condemn us for having a sexual thought, or for looking at a beautiful person. A thought is not the sin. Jesus warns us about looking for the purpose of lusting. The spiritual teacher James Bryan Smith says that it isn’t the first look, it’s the second look that Jesus is talking about.
To limit sexual thoughts, some have found it helpful to avoid situations that might cause us personal temptation- whether that be television, the internet, certain acquaintances you are tempted to flirt with, visiting particular places, or anything else that might cause temptation to arise within us. … John Cassian suggests that we should be particularly on guard against lust at night. That’s when we are hidden, and when thoughts can run wild. …
Often, we don’t have the strength to fight lust directly. Usually, we have to flee the situation that is causing the temptation. … I know of one spiritual advisor that recommended to someone who was tempted by pornography that they get rid of their TV. Like an alcoholic who has to stay away from alcohol entirely, fighting lust might mean that we cut off the source of temptation entirely. There might be no moderation when we are being severely tempted.
Fasting serves as a powerful tool for disciplining our bodily desires, strengthening our ability to navigate challenges like lust. Additionally, opening up about the struggle—bringing it into the light with someone who can pray for you and offer support—can lighten the burden, making it more manageable.
The ultimate cure, though is not merely to run from pornography, or throw away the romance novels, but to devote yourself to God’s Kingdom first, then life will order itself properly. When we focus on God, the bigger picture that gives meaning to our lives, we become who we were always made to be.
The assumption of the Christian Tradition is that the proper context for sex is marriage. This isn’t about God trying to ruin anyone’s fun. It’s about where sex belongs, and what it was made for. Marriage is where sex is of most benefit, and where is it least likely to do damage.
Chastity is the virtue whereby we keep our sexuality in the context for which it was designed. Chastity is not an end unto itself, rather, it is a discipline that helps us draw closer to God as we live a life that is more in tune with who God created us to be, and how God made life to work. Chastity puts sexuality into proper perspective. It helps us keep our priorities straight. And so, Chastity is a practice for both single and married Christians.
Chastity trains us in love. Chastity teaches us that there is more to human relationships than sex. Chastity teaches us that intimacy is different than sex. Chastity teaches us to not objectify people. Chastity teaches us to live in the freedom of who we were made to be, rather than being enslaved to our sexual desires.
Chastity, especially in the context of marriage, trains us to not be governed by the waves of feeling and desire that come and go. It teaches us that love is a commitment. While the romantic feeling of love is good, in the Christian Tradition love means acting for the good of the other, and isn’t primarily a feeling. Chastity teaches us to become less selfish, more generous, and more self-controlled. Chastity helps us to be more responsible because we understand that our spouse (and possibly children) rely on us, and so we learn to properly order our desires so we don’t cause chaos in the lives of those we love.
The battle against lust is not won through sheer willpower alone—it is won through a life devoted to God, shaped by His truth and empowered by His grace. When we seek Him first, everything else falls into its rightful place. Chastity is not about repression but about living in freedom, ordering our desires in a way that honors God and respects the dignity of others. It is a virtue that strengthens love, deepens relationships, and trains us in the selfless commitment that mirrors Christ’s love for the Church. Through God’s grace, the virtue of chastity will become a part of who we are as our sexuality finds itself integrated into our lives in a healthy balanced way. Amen.
We should remember too, that Jesus does not condemn us for having a sexual thought, or for looking at a beautiful person. A thought is not the sin. Jesus warns us about looking for the purpose of lusting. The spiritual teacher James Bryan Smith says that it isn’t the first look, it’s the second look that Jesus is talking about.
To limit sexual thoughts, some have found it helpful to avoid situations that might cause us personal temptation- whether that be television, the internet, certain acquaintances you are tempted to flirt with, visiting particular places, or anything else that might cause temptation to arise within us. … John Cassian suggests that we should be particularly on guard against lust at night. That’s when we are hidden, and when thoughts can run wild. …
Often, we don’t have the strength to fight lust directly. Usually, we have to flee the situation that is causing the temptation. … I know of one spiritual advisor that recommended to someone who was tempted by pornography that they get rid of their TV. Like an alcoholic who has to stay away from alcohol entirely, fighting lust might mean that we cut off the source of temptation entirely. There might be no moderation when we are being severely tempted.
Fasting serves as a powerful tool for disciplining our bodily desires, strengthening our ability to navigate challenges like lust. Additionally, opening up about the struggle—bringing it into the light with someone who can pray for you and offer support—can lighten the burden, making it more manageable.
The ultimate cure, though is not merely to run from pornography, or throw away the romance novels, but to devote yourself to God’s Kingdom first, then life will order itself properly. When we focus on God, the bigger picture that gives meaning to our lives, we become who we were always made to be.
The assumption of the Christian Tradition is that the proper context for sex is marriage. This isn’t about God trying to ruin anyone’s fun. It’s about where sex belongs, and what it was made for. Marriage is where sex is of most benefit, and where is it least likely to do damage.
Chastity is the virtue whereby we keep our sexuality in the context for which it was designed. Chastity is not an end unto itself, rather, it is a discipline that helps us draw closer to God as we live a life that is more in tune with who God created us to be, and how God made life to work. Chastity puts sexuality into proper perspective. It helps us keep our priorities straight. And so, Chastity is a practice for both single and married Christians.
Chastity trains us in love. Chastity teaches us that there is more to human relationships than sex. Chastity teaches us that intimacy is different than sex. Chastity teaches us to not objectify people. Chastity teaches us to live in the freedom of who we were made to be, rather than being enslaved to our sexual desires.
Chastity, especially in the context of marriage, trains us to not be governed by the waves of feeling and desire that come and go. It teaches us that love is a commitment. While the romantic feeling of love is good, in the Christian Tradition love means acting for the good of the other, and isn’t primarily a feeling. Chastity teaches us to become less selfish, more generous, and more self-controlled. Chastity helps us to be more responsible because we understand that our spouse (and possibly children) rely on us, and so we learn to properly order our desires so we don’t cause chaos in the lives of those we love.
The battle against lust is not won through sheer willpower alone—it is won through a life devoted to God, shaped by His truth and empowered by His grace. When we seek Him first, everything else falls into its rightful place. Chastity is not about repression but about living in freedom, ordering our desires in a way that honors God and respects the dignity of others. It is a virtue that strengthens love, deepens relationships, and trains us in the selfless commitment that mirrors Christ’s love for the Church. Through God’s grace, the virtue of chastity will become a part of who we are as our sexuality finds itself integrated into our lives in a healthy balanced way. Amen.
Comments
Post a Comment