Lust and Chastity- 7 deadly sins
This week the deadly sin we are looking at is lust. We are swimming in temptations to lust. Sexual imagery is blatant on tv, in songs, on magazines, and in advertising. We are immersed in an overly-sexualized culture that is often using sexual imagery and to manipulate us into buying things.
The media that holds our attention tends to exaggerate the importance of sex and fools us into believing that our happiness depends on being forever sexually attractive and sexually active.
Thinking about our sexual desires, C.S. Lewis in his book Mere Christianity asks us to imagine a culture where people gather around a covered dish. The cover is slowly lifted while people hoot and holler. The cover is finally lifted to reveal a pork chop. Now we might suspect that these people are starving. So, then we look into their culture to see if they have a lack of food available to them. If we find that, in fact, they are not starving and are actually eating quite well, then we would suspect that something has gone wrong in their desire for food.
Now we imagine that instead of a pork chop, say we have under the cover, a naked woman. It is an image of strip clubs and the pornography industry. Is this evidence that we are sexually starved, or that something has gone wrong in our sexual desire?
To strengthen his argument, Lewis points out that if a young man were to obey all his sexual urgings (in a pre-contraception environment) he might well populate a small town quite quickly. Isn't this evidence that our sexual desires have become twisted or exaggerated in some way?
The result of this twisting is that we can end up treating each other as objects for our own personal sexual gratification. We forget that we are persons to be respected, valued, and made in the image of God, not to be used and abused for our own selfish use.
Lust is an excessive desire for the pleasures of the flesh. It is usually focused on sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure itself is good and a gift from God, but sex out of its proper context can become dangerous to us and to others. Lust is inherently selfish. And it is ultimately a delusion. Lust asks of sex something sex can’t deliver. It promises intimacy and fulfillment. Movie after movie shows lust and romantic love as a cure-all for life’s problems. Like other sins it acts like an addiction. It leads to a habit as we continue to reach for what it will never be able to give us.
Lust also effects more than the lust-sick person. Lust may lead to adultery, which effects spouses, children, parents, extended family, friends, and co-workers. Lust might also lead to a child being conceived in an unstable relationship, which might lead to an abortion, or living the difficult life of a single parent family. … Lust can also have other more violent consequences, like sexually assault. … Sin will also often lead to more sin. In King David’s case, lust for Bathsheba led to the murder of her husband Uriah to cover up their adultery. We might not be led to murder, but we might be drawn into a life of lies as we try to hide our lust.
Sex is meant to reinforce and strengthen a truly loving relationship, but lust tends to objectify the other person- it uses them for self-centered pleasure. The psychologist Solomon Schimmel compares love to lust saying,
“Love is firm in the face of obstacles. This is because it is joining of personalities, not bodies. Aging, loss of exterior beauty, illness, or misfortune do not diminish love when the emotional bonds upon which it is based remain intact. Lust is transient, fickle, and egocentric. Love is permanent, steady, and altruistic. Lust uses another’s body to satisfy its appetite for pleasure. Love gives of oneself, soul and all, to make another happy.” (Schimmel p 122).We seek to cure the disease of lust by seeking to attain chastity. We do this by understanding the role of sexuality in God’s bigger design for life. Chastity is sometimes equated in peoples' minds with celibacy- which is abstaining from sex entirely. That's not exactly what I mean by 'chastity'. It is that for some people, but not all.
Here's how one theologian puts it
“Chastity is the virtue by which a person integrates his or her sexuality into his or her own Christian life” (Lower, Boyle, May- Catholic Sexual Ethics).
That means it is a discipline for both single and married people. It's how we integrate our sexuality into who God has called us to be and what He has called us to do. How we express our sexuality will be different because we have different callings.
The virtue of chastity is formed in us as we follow the teachings of Jesus who taught us to watch our hearts, which is where the root of lust begins. Sexual sin begins with a thought and if it is not addressed then it may lead to more thoughts, and then habitual thoughts, and then actions, and then habitual actions, and before we know it our life and character are coloured by it. … Jesus rightly advises us to deal with lust when it is just a small thought in our minds- while it is still a seed and hasn't grown roots. It is easier to deal with a spark than a forest fire. … We should remember too, that Jesus does not condemn us for having any sexual thought, or for looking at a beautiful person. A thought is not the sin. Jesus warns us about looking for the purpose of lusting. The Greek word implies a leer, rather than a look.
To limit sexual thoughts, some have found it helpful to avoid situations that might cause us personal temptation- whether that be television, the internet, instant messaging, certain acquaintances, visiting particular places, reading harlequin novels, or anything else that might cause temptation to arise within us. … Often, we don’t have the strength to fight lust directly. Usually we have to flee the situation that is causing the temptation. The strongest among us are still susceptible. We should fight this even if it means deep sacrifice. I know of one spiritual adviser that recommended to someone tempted by pornography that they get rid of their TV.
The ultimate cure, though is not merely to run from pornography but to find a pleasure greater than the pleasures of the flesh to devote yourself to. When we seek God’s Kingdom first, then life will order itself properly. When we focus on the Kingdom we are focusing on our true and original purpose.
The assumption of the Bible and Christian Tradition is that the proper context for sex is marriage. This isn’t about God trying to ruin anyone’s fun, it’s about where sex belongs and what it was made for- Where it is of most benefit to us and to the Kingdom? Where is it least likely to do damage? We are happy for a fire to be in our furnace, or the fireplace, but a fire on the living room carpet is dangerous. Likewise with sex, in the proper context sex is useful and beautiful, but out of its proper context it can be damaging (to us, our partners, families, or the broader community).
Chastity is the virtue whereby we keep our sexuality in the context for which it was designed. Chastity is not an end unto itself, rather, it is a practice that helps us draw closer to God as we live a life that is more in tune with who God created us to be. Chastity puts sexuality into perspective. It helps us keep our priorities straight. And so, Chastity is a practice for both single and married Christians.
Chastity trains us in love. Chastity teaches us that there is more to human relationships than sex. Chastity teaches us that intimacy is different than sex. Chastity teaches us to not objectify people. Chastity teaches us to live in freedom, rather than being enslaved by our sexual desires.
Chastity, especially in the context of a marriage (a high-commitment covenant relationship) trains us to love even when we don’t feel like it. Love is beyond our own grumpiness, or our state of digestion. While the romantic feeling of love is important, that is not all love is. Love is also an action and a commitment. Chastity teaches us to become less-selfish and more generous and self-controlled as we are also living for our spouse and possibly children. We also learn to be more courageous because we understand that others rely on us.
Through God’s grace, the Virtue of Chastity will become a part of who we are. That means someday, for those of us who still fight with this, it will be less of a struggle and we will have peace and tranquility in our lives as we become more who God created us to be as our sexuality finds itself integrated into our lives in a healthy balanced way. AMEN
The virtue of chastity is formed in us as we follow the teachings of Jesus who taught us to watch our hearts, which is where the root of lust begins. Sexual sin begins with a thought and if it is not addressed then it may lead to more thoughts, and then habitual thoughts, and then actions, and then habitual actions, and before we know it our life and character are coloured by it. … Jesus rightly advises us to deal with lust when it is just a small thought in our minds- while it is still a seed and hasn't grown roots. It is easier to deal with a spark than a forest fire. … We should remember too, that Jesus does not condemn us for having any sexual thought, or for looking at a beautiful person. A thought is not the sin. Jesus warns us about looking for the purpose of lusting. The Greek word implies a leer, rather than a look.
To limit sexual thoughts, some have found it helpful to avoid situations that might cause us personal temptation- whether that be television, the internet, instant messaging, certain acquaintances, visiting particular places, reading harlequin novels, or anything else that might cause temptation to arise within us. … Often, we don’t have the strength to fight lust directly. Usually we have to flee the situation that is causing the temptation. The strongest among us are still susceptible. We should fight this even if it means deep sacrifice. I know of one spiritual adviser that recommended to someone tempted by pornography that they get rid of their TV.
The ultimate cure, though is not merely to run from pornography but to find a pleasure greater than the pleasures of the flesh to devote yourself to. When we seek God’s Kingdom first, then life will order itself properly. When we focus on the Kingdom we are focusing on our true and original purpose.
The assumption of the Bible and Christian Tradition is that the proper context for sex is marriage. This isn’t about God trying to ruin anyone’s fun, it’s about where sex belongs and what it was made for- Where it is of most benefit to us and to the Kingdom? Where is it least likely to do damage? We are happy for a fire to be in our furnace, or the fireplace, but a fire on the living room carpet is dangerous. Likewise with sex, in the proper context sex is useful and beautiful, but out of its proper context it can be damaging (to us, our partners, families, or the broader community).
Chastity is the virtue whereby we keep our sexuality in the context for which it was designed. Chastity is not an end unto itself, rather, it is a practice that helps us draw closer to God as we live a life that is more in tune with who God created us to be. Chastity puts sexuality into perspective. It helps us keep our priorities straight. And so, Chastity is a practice for both single and married Christians.
Chastity trains us in love. Chastity teaches us that there is more to human relationships than sex. Chastity teaches us that intimacy is different than sex. Chastity teaches us to not objectify people. Chastity teaches us to live in freedom, rather than being enslaved by our sexual desires.
Chastity, especially in the context of a marriage (a high-commitment covenant relationship) trains us to love even when we don’t feel like it. Love is beyond our own grumpiness, or our state of digestion. While the romantic feeling of love is important, that is not all love is. Love is also an action and a commitment. Chastity teaches us to become less-selfish and more generous and self-controlled as we are also living for our spouse and possibly children. We also learn to be more courageous because we understand that others rely on us.
Through God’s grace, the Virtue of Chastity will become a part of who we are. That means someday, for those of us who still fight with this, it will be less of a struggle and we will have peace and tranquility in our lives as we become more who God created us to be as our sexuality finds itself integrated into our lives in a healthy balanced way. AMEN
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