There is no fear in love- To Rachel and Matthew on your wedding-

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because he first loved us” 1 John 4:18-19

So there are some that will say that what Matthew and Rachel are doing is pretty crazy. … and it’s not completely irrational to think that way. Someone who says that is probably just saying that they would be afraid to do it.

Well, why might someone be afraid to get married? … How about this- When Crystal and I got married, she married an electrician who pretty recently became infatuated with Jesus. She did not marry a pastor and had no aspirations to be a pastor’s wife, but 16 years later that’s where she finds herself.

You know who Matthew is now. He’s a hard worker. He’s a people person. You don’t know who he’ll become.

You know who Rachel is now. Like she’s crazy smart and funny. You don’t know who she’ll become.

People change. Maybe Matthew is going to become passionately obsessed with learning how to speak Wookie. … You don’t know.

People grow. They learn. They get new interests.

You don’t know how you are going to be interacting 10 years down the road. … Have you ever seen those couples in the grocery store that snap at each other? “That’s not the mustard we buy! What’s wrong with you?! You know I hate that kind!” They wouldn’t talk to a stranger that way, and here they talk to the person they are supposed to love that way? … There can be a little twinge of fear- I really hope we don’t become a couple like that.

But sometimes it isn’t about things we have control over at all. Sometimes life just throws things at us. You don’t know what that future will bring. You are holding hands and jumping into the water in the dark and you have no idea what might be swimming in those waters. You are promising to love, comfort, honour, and protect each other no matter what swims your way. …

There might be better things that swim your way, or there might be worse things- maybe a richer fish swims your way, but maybe a poorer shark will nibble at your toes. Maybe a sickness snake swims by, or maybe a health lily floats near you. …. You don’t know. The future isn’t clear. ….

But, you are promising that, regardless, you are going to bind your lives together not knowing what is coming your way. You are giving your futures to each other and you don’t even know what that means.

People might be right to think that is a bit crazy. People might be right to feel a twinge of fear at that thought. The future is unknown and to make a promise for that unknown future can be a frightening thing.

Well, when you’re frightened, it’s not a bad idea to turn to the Bible.

The passage of Scripture Matthew and Rachel have chosen speaks about both fear and love. It’s actually from my favorite chapter in the whole Bible.

John’s first letter, chapter 4, verses 18 and 19 says this- 

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:18-19).

For the congregation John was writing to, the fear he’s describing had to do with judgement at the time when our lives will be examined by the eternal and all-seeing judge. How will your life look to that judge? What will the verdict be?

But, I think it is also more than that. We live in a world that is dealing with the consequences of Sin, and so in a sense the brokenness of the world is like living in a kind of judgement.

The brokenness of the world is flying at us- it even lives within us-
that brokenness causes overwhelming fear for many people. We don’t often call that fear anymore, we tend to call it anxiety. It is fear of how the brokenness is going to affect us.

John’s letter seems to suggest something impossible- “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear”. What can he possibly mean by that?...

John Calvin commenting on this passage says, 

“when the love of God is properly known, it calms the mind”.

 Could it be that our fears and anxieties, on some level, come down to a misunderstanding of God?

There are probably some in this room who don’t believe in God, but even for some of us who do believe we can sometimes have funny ideas about God. Maybe he’s really not someone we can trust.

Let’s push those doubtful thoughts aside for a moment. Set aside your doubts. If you don’t believe, just allow yourself to believe for the next 2 minutes.

Imagine that there is a God, without a doubt. … And now imagine that God wants only the best for you. This God is for you, not against you. Even when you have done something wrong and you know it, this God is like a Father who runs to you and embraces you and barely lets you finish your apology before rushing you off to celebrate being with you. … Imagine that this God only lets you endure a difficulty in your life if it means that in the end you will benefit more than you would if you were saved from the pain. … Like a Father teaching his child to ride a bike- it’s scary, and you might scrape your knee, but in the end the joy from riding the bike outweighs the fear of learning. … You might not get why these things happen, but say you just trusted that there was a reason beyond your understanding. And the reason is good and loving. Imagine this God is willing to suffer to show His love for you- which is what we see on the cross. Imagine this God is so loving that John can say earlier in this chapter that not only is God loving, but “God is love” (1 John 4:8) … This God is the foundation of the whole universe and He knows your name, and He loves you more than you can possibly imagine.

Imagine you know that deep in your bones in a way that couldn’t be taken away from you. God is for you. The whole foundation of the universe is love. … Suddenly the universe is not an unfriendly place to be in. Suddenly any difficulty that you encounter is a chance to grow into being the person your loving God has made you to be- beautiful, and good, and powerful, and loving.

The love of God is a reality that is too beautiful to really be fully described, but people who encounter that reality are forever changed.

If that reality is fixed in our hearts, then we know what it is to be loved by God. … And what response can we possibly have to a God like that? … We love Him right back. We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19). ….

And what room is there for fear? If we know we are loved like that, and our whole being is turned to God in love- then we are wanting to live the way God says because we trust that is the best way. What is our loving Father going to do with His children when it comes to the day of Judgement? Of course there is no fear! He’s our dad!

This freedom from fear, however, carries itself far beyond the final judgment. Rachel and Matthew can trust that in that unknown future is their loving Father who is there in the water with them. No matter what swims their way in those dark waters of the future. Whatever comes their way it will be all used for their good.

If Matthew wants to get passionate about learning Wookie, well that will teach Rachel patience. If they have a time in their life where they are poorer and not richer, well they can allow God to teach them that they don’t survive on bread alone, but on the very words that flow from the mouth of God.

Matthew and Rachel, if you trust that God is for you and not against you- if you dare to believe that God loves you more than you can imagine, and you dare to love Him back- and you dare to let Him love through you- then there will be so much love that there is no room for fear.

AMEN