The parable of the wise and foolish bridesmaids- Matt 25
The parable Jesus tells fits a theme we find in the Old Testament, especially in the prophets. This is the idea of God and the people of God as a wedded couple. The image of God arriving to set things right at the end of human history is sometimes described as a wedding feast. So the idea of God being described as the groom, and God’s people are the bride, would be a familiar theme to Jesus' listeners. (For more on this see my essay on the Song of Songs here) Interestingly, Jesus constantly places himself in the place of the groom, which is usually God's position.
Like most of the parables, we get a much better appreciation of this ‘parable of the wise and foolish bridesmaids’ if we understand the cultural background of the story. … In Jesus’ time, marriage had three steps. First, there was an engagement, which was a contractual agreement between a groom and the father of the bride. (Sorry, women).
The second step was the betrothal, which involved a ceremony. Gifts were given to the father of the bride. It seems crass to us, but she seems to have been bought for a price (1 Cor 6:20 might refer to this). The covenant is then sealed with a cup of wine, and from this point the husband and wife are bound together. Part of the ceremony involves a blessing that the groom speaks where he says,
“in my father’s house are many rooms. I go to prepare a place for you, and when I go, I will come back and take you to myself that you may be where I am.”
(Sound familiar? See Jn 14). The groom then returns back to his father’s house and he spends the next year preparing a place for he and his bride to live.[1]
The third step is the actual wedding ceremony and feast. This is the context for our parable. This is the end of the betrothal. The actual ceremony and feast would take place in the house of the groom’s father and the celebrations could last up to a week. Everything would be prepared, and word would be sent out for everyone to gather. On the day of the wedding, the house and the area in front of the house would fill up with guests. As the crowd is gathering the groom and a few of his close friends would go to pick up his bride from her family’s home, which was probably in the same town, or a nearby village. The bride would be placed on a pack animal and escorted back to the groom’s family home where everyone is waiting for them to arrive. The groom and his friends would form a kind of parade- celebrating as they travel. They would also take the longest route back to his father’s house. They would wander up and down many streets in the village. Remember that in these towns everyone knew everyone, so wandering up and down the streets would be a way for them to celebrate with their neighbours who would see them and cheer as they walked passed.
Traditionally, weddings would take place during the seven months of summer, and the parable takes place in the evening. So, the crowd would wait out in the warm starlit night air, in front of the house, for the bridal procession to arrive.
This is where we meet the 10 bridesmaids of the parable. They are out in the evening waiting for the bridal party to arrive. The bridal party is acting like a joyful parade as they take their time, weaving in and out of the village streets. They will not be rushed, so no one is really sure when they are arriving, but they are taking longer than some expected. People are probably stopping them to congratulate them. Remember that people didn’t move around a lot, so some of these neighbours they are passing probably knew the groom and/or the bride since they were children. The crowd wasn’t sure when they would arrive. The bridesmaids doze off while they are waiting.
It is worth saying something about the lamps. The lamps would have been a kind of ceramic cup filled with olive oil. A wick would be placed in the oil and laid over the edge. According to Kenneth Bailey, it was particularly important for women to have working lamps in this culture. It had to do with safety, but also protecting their reputation. It was not appropriate for a young unmarried woman to be walking around alone at night in the dark. There would have suspicion cast on her- who is she sneaking around meeting in the middle of the night, and what are they doing? Bailey says that when he has seen women in the Middle East out at night, they don’t cast the light of their lamp on the ground to see where they are walking, rather, they carry the light in front of them to light up their face, so everyone can see who they are and where they are going. So, being a young unmarried woman out at night meant that it was very important to have a working lamp.
The procession is taking longer than some of the bridesmaids thought and five of them don’t have enough oil in their lamps. The other five wisely brought extra oil, but not enough to have extra to share.
As the front of the bridal parade enters the final street to the house, someone yells, “behold the bridegroom. Come out to meet him”. All the guests flood out to meet the couple as they finally arrive at the house. Five of the young women have enough oil to top up their lamps, but the other five don’t have enough. They have to go into the village to find someone they can beg, borrow, or buy oil from. Remember, everyone knows everyone in these villages. They know which doors to knock on. Getting oil is not a problem. The problem is they don’t have enough time. They leave to rush and find oil, but while they are gone, everyone floods into the house and the door is shut.
The young women get their lamps working again, and rush back to the house, but they come to a closed door. They knock saying, “Lord, lord, open to us.” But the groom replies, “Truly I tell you, I do not know you.” We don’t know what happens after this. Like many parables, we are left wondering.
The point of the parable seems to be this. Jesus is the groom, and God’s people are the bride. The messianic feast is about to take place in the near future. This is the Second Coming- when Jesus arrives to set things right. When he arrives he will find some of God’s people prepared, but unfortunately some will not be properly prepared for his arrival. So the parable seems to be urging us to be ready (like the five wise bridesmaids) and not be caught unprepared (like the five foolish bridesmaids). It seems that we will not be able to lean on anyone else’s preparation. We have some individual responsibility to prepare ourselves.
So, this leads us to ask, what does it mean to prepare for him? I think we get a hint at the end of the parable. We read that the foolish bridesmaids came to the locked door saying, “’Lord, lord, open to us.’ But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I do not know you.’” These are the most terrifying words to imagine Jesus saying to us. He is saying these people don’t have a relationship with him. We hear these words earlier in the Gospel of Matthew (ch 7:21-23)-
The third step is the actual wedding ceremony and feast. This is the context for our parable. This is the end of the betrothal. The actual ceremony and feast would take place in the house of the groom’s father and the celebrations could last up to a week. Everything would be prepared, and word would be sent out for everyone to gather. On the day of the wedding, the house and the area in front of the house would fill up with guests. As the crowd is gathering the groom and a few of his close friends would go to pick up his bride from her family’s home, which was probably in the same town, or a nearby village. The bride would be placed on a pack animal and escorted back to the groom’s family home where everyone is waiting for them to arrive. The groom and his friends would form a kind of parade- celebrating as they travel. They would also take the longest route back to his father’s house. They would wander up and down many streets in the village. Remember that in these towns everyone knew everyone, so wandering up and down the streets would be a way for them to celebrate with their neighbours who would see them and cheer as they walked passed.
Traditionally, weddings would take place during the seven months of summer, and the parable takes place in the evening. So, the crowd would wait out in the warm starlit night air, in front of the house, for the bridal procession to arrive.
This is where we meet the 10 bridesmaids of the parable. They are out in the evening waiting for the bridal party to arrive. The bridal party is acting like a joyful parade as they take their time, weaving in and out of the village streets. They will not be rushed, so no one is really sure when they are arriving, but they are taking longer than some expected. People are probably stopping them to congratulate them. Remember that people didn’t move around a lot, so some of these neighbours they are passing probably knew the groom and/or the bride since they were children. The crowd wasn’t sure when they would arrive. The bridesmaids doze off while they are waiting.
It is worth saying something about the lamps. The lamps would have been a kind of ceramic cup filled with olive oil. A wick would be placed in the oil and laid over the edge. According to Kenneth Bailey, it was particularly important for women to have working lamps in this culture. It had to do with safety, but also protecting their reputation. It was not appropriate for a young unmarried woman to be walking around alone at night in the dark. There would have suspicion cast on her- who is she sneaking around meeting in the middle of the night, and what are they doing? Bailey says that when he has seen women in the Middle East out at night, they don’t cast the light of their lamp on the ground to see where they are walking, rather, they carry the light in front of them to light up their face, so everyone can see who they are and where they are going. So, being a young unmarried woman out at night meant that it was very important to have a working lamp.
The procession is taking longer than some of the bridesmaids thought and five of them don’t have enough oil in their lamps. The other five wisely brought extra oil, but not enough to have extra to share.
As the front of the bridal parade enters the final street to the house, someone yells, “behold the bridegroom. Come out to meet him”. All the guests flood out to meet the couple as they finally arrive at the house. Five of the young women have enough oil to top up their lamps, but the other five don’t have enough. They have to go into the village to find someone they can beg, borrow, or buy oil from. Remember, everyone knows everyone in these villages. They know which doors to knock on. Getting oil is not a problem. The problem is they don’t have enough time. They leave to rush and find oil, but while they are gone, everyone floods into the house and the door is shut.
The young women get their lamps working again, and rush back to the house, but they come to a closed door. They knock saying, “Lord, lord, open to us.” But the groom replies, “Truly I tell you, I do not know you.” We don’t know what happens after this. Like many parables, we are left wondering.
The point of the parable seems to be this. Jesus is the groom, and God’s people are the bride. The messianic feast is about to take place in the near future. This is the Second Coming- when Jesus arrives to set things right. When he arrives he will find some of God’s people prepared, but unfortunately some will not be properly prepared for his arrival. So the parable seems to be urging us to be ready (like the five wise bridesmaids) and not be caught unprepared (like the five foolish bridesmaids). It seems that we will not be able to lean on anyone else’s preparation. We have some individual responsibility to prepare ourselves.
So, this leads us to ask, what does it mean to prepare for him? I think we get a hint at the end of the parable. We read that the foolish bridesmaids came to the locked door saying, “’Lord, lord, open to us.’ But he replied, ‘Truly I tell you, I do not know you.’” These are the most terrifying words to imagine Jesus saying to us. He is saying these people don’t have a relationship with him. We hear these words earlier in the Gospel of Matthew (ch 7:21-23)-
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only one who does the will of my Father in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many deeds of power in your name?’ Then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; go away from me, you evildoers.’”So preparation here is likely tied to the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus is outlining what it means to be citizens of God’s kingdom, or (to put it another way) what it means to do the will of the Father. In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus speaks about anger as the seed of murder, lust as the seed of adultery, justice in marriage, avoiding telling lies used to manipulate others, revenge and love for enemies, giving and praying and fasting so as to not purposely enhance your public image, to value the eternal God above temporary wealth, to let go of anxiety and to trust God, to refrain from judging others, to treat others the way we want to be treated. Living according to this teaching seems to be the way to prepare. And it seems like it will be too late when we hear the news that he is coming. In other words, the time to start preparing is now. And this is something no one can do for us. … Jesus has died to set us free from sin and death. And Jesus has set us free to be people of the kingdom of God. This is what that freedom from sin and death looks like- the Sermon on the Mount.
Soon, we will be recognizing Remembrance Day when we remember those who died in the wars. I think being people of the kingdom is intensely practical, not just for our own relationship with God, but I think being people of the kingdom is practical for our world. Our society is in desperate need of people who know how to forgive, and how to love an enemy, how to bless someone who has cursed them. Wars don’t start overnight they build until they burst into reality. A people formed as disciples to live the Sermon on the Mount would not have been able to perpetrate the holocaust, and would have stood against bigotry against Jewish people long before that horror began. In fact, disciples would have a hard time killing at all. But discipleship and love should have tempered the revenge embodied in the treaty of Versailles, which probably helped create a desperate Germany that became entranced by Nazism. War erupted in Christian Europe because of a failure of Discipleship.
We stand in our own time, and the way we are disciples and the way we invite others into the discipleship of Jesus might very well be what stands in the way of future acts of horrendous hate and violence. AMEN
[1]
The first two steps of marriage are especially according to Prof. Darrell Johnson from Regent College in Vancouver. While Johnson speaks about the 3rd step, I found Kenneth
Bailey’s cultural insights to be very helpful in this step and so the 3rd step is primarily reliant on his work.
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